But I'm in my late 20s, and at this point I'm only going to date a woman if I see a serious future with her. Start by being honest with yourself and with what you really want. You shouldn't be so quick to judge those you know nothing about. You can't take it personally if homie is late because his child's mother got a flat tire so he had to go help out. Nothing unchaperoned until they're 15-ish and we'd have to get to know him first.
What are the boundaries if you get serious? Some background: My son is almost 4 and so while more dependent on me than a 10 year old, he's not a baby either. Any woman that would choose you or any other man for that matter. Let me tell you something. I just want to be given the chance to go out, date someone and persue a relationship but societal stigmas tend to go against single parents and as a result a lot of guys avoid single moms like the plague. I was a man without children who met a woman with two daughters and spent far too long trying to make something worthwhile before realising that building something meaningful was impossible. My date has a son from a previous marriage.
As long as she's not the only thing you talk about Don't get me wrong, your child is important. Don't get me wrong, some guys have valid reasons for avoiding women with children, but guys who automatically dismiss a woman because she has a child without even taking time to understand and examine the situation is just missing out on a potentially good relationship. Why am I doing that? If you're going to be there for them as a father, be there. That is a lot for a 21 year old. Now she did say to you she isn't looking for someone to look after her son or pay for him and right now you are just starting to see her.
Now if it's not your preference than that's understandable. One thing I would be, is up front that this may not be something I want to handle in the sense I'd need time to think. Anything else is just interference, a distraction. Being a smart ass pretending to be super nice and supportive still believing they have a chance of getting her back. Point is - don't write off every mother with kids. Your feelings of jealousy, and quite probably anger is absolutely normal. You want to make sure you're respectful of your partner's wishes and boundaries.
When I was around 14 I wanted to go on a date but knew he wouldn't let me. If the child shows you something he did at school, be positive and give him praise. By setting clear boundaries and being empathetic towards your partner, you can successfully have a relationship with someone with a child. I have a good relationship with his father who has joint custody so our son stays with him 40% of the time. If you feel this way after a month, it will only get worse later. There is someone out there i can promise you that.
Assuming you're in a situation with split custody in a local setting, that means half the time you get to yourself. Sorry, but even guys that eventually will show more interest in your child and maybe even become a father figure are not going to want to date a woman they don't even know with a kid tagging along. The oxygen gets pretty thin up there. You may be confused about your role or what to expect. Now, I'm not saying you rushed, but that's usually the case.
We had previously talked about going clubbing but from the sound of things she knew I was not a fan of the idea. He has developed a wisdom to help him identify the difference between the two, and if you haven't already done the same, hanging with him long enough will be educational. Dating girls without kids is so much easier. I can see her ex in the baby's face. I can't really explain it. Women are the ones who have to carry it. Parenthood is a weightier decision for women than it is for men, she says.
And take great care of yourself. And contrary to what they will try to claim, not every woman has been beaten or cheated on. My son at 11 already has a very close girl friend not girlfriend but if that evolved, we'd just see how it went and make sure to be open with him and encourage him to do the same. In fact, age makes all the difference in the world, when you introduce single dating to a kid. Take all this into consideration before getting serious with a single parent.
Be respectful and understanding of such restrictions. This is one situation in which you should be quick to listen and slow to speak. I'm sure he left your ass because of that almighty attitude of yours. If you'd actually read some of my responses you'd see I don't go around man bashing and in no way approve of such antics. I wouldn't date women with children, until I had come to terms with my feelings about 'other mens' children. Don't muscle in, don't expect them to call you dad. You seem to care about your girlfriend and you think that she is raising a good child.