If they are aging when their spouse leaves them some go into depression and isolation becoming their own narcissistic supply. There will be intermittent bouts of sloth and depression. Stay strong and know that you are not alone. He is be constantly dysphoric sad and anhedonic finds no pleasure in anything, including his former pursuits, hobbies, and interests. A man who loves a woman wants to protect that woman and a he respects her for wanting to respect herself by protecting herself. The only way for this person the young narcissist to cope is through psychic splitting and by developing over-compensatory protective defenses — hence, a state of entitlement, grandiosity, and lack of empathy. The narcissist — in an effort to maintain the depressive state until it serves some cathartic purposes — strives to perpetuate it by sowing constant reminders of its existence.
It will cause the Narcissist's sense of self to tremble. However, negative attention is still a form of attention and can serve as Narcissistic Supply. Just imagine being a human being void of approval, attention, self worth, self esteem, and having to seek everything you need to survive from an external environment and other sources to fulfill your every needs , desires, and wants for self sustainability. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Good luck hope you have moved on already My very dear Narc is a famous author in another country, I have been through all the phases and the discard which hurts me so much still. I found this site only after she made contact with me the other day in an attempt to Hoover me back into her web.
They will fight tooth and nail to avoid it, even if it means they have to destroy you in the process. They will also buy you things that they really want. I do feel like im losing my mind cause i dont think i want to be this way and am battling with myself daily. One cannot pour from an empty cup, they say and these are indeed words of wisdom. In fact, we needed to talk more often, according to him. It is very important to remain consistent with these behaviors, if you give in to them at any time they Won't leave.
I was a good actress! Terrible violet arguments with all her exs. They think they own you for life. Defending yourself in an emotionally reactive way, sadly, tends to reinforce rather than assist in quelling lies told. I have extreme black and white thinking. I have never said hateful things about him. That inheritance is another story, but basically he manipulated the inheritance to be given to him, when none had been allocated to him by his half-siblings. I am with a kind, loving man now and so glad to be out of that dysfunctional set up.
The pain you are suffering can end up being a blessing, premitting you to complement your naturally good heart, empathy, ablity to love, with an inner strenght that can let you put your good qualities in a better place, of course not in the attention to a despicable abuser. Covered provocation to make you crazy 7. He cut me off his dreams and I have no part in it anymore. This post actuallly came from a list I had hand written two weeks before my N left. Psychoanalyst 1920 had earlier considered neurotic as an attempt to regain primitive love and attention in an adult context. These are just situations in which I have suffered through and learned from after living with an N for over a year.
You sound like you have great wisdom though in knowing that your children will come around, and you will hold steady until that comes. To be sure, when I speak of a supply crash, I am referring to a Narcissist losing a significant source of Narcissistic supply. He always diverted the conversation to other topics and I realized I had been duped. Whatever you have left, you must greedily store away for your own self and healing. Either way, I am incredibly self-absorbed in that respect, and it makes no difference to me either way. Reacting in any way at all to the smear is precisely what the narcissist is hoping for.
Doing nothing is a massive step forward in seizing your freedom. My first mistake, in ignorance, I responded. Devoid of energy, the narcissist can no longer pretend to succumb to social conventions. Anyway, it hurt like hell. For what it is worth, I have been a therapist for many years. Refusing to stoop to their level allows you to uphold your integrity and your dignity.
As always gorgeous ones, please share your insights, tips and experiences on the narcissist and smear campaigns. But I can say, that I have become very suicidal and severely depressed when losing a major source of supply. All the meanwhile he refuses to stay anywhere else so he knows whats going on here and to keep tearing me down and the kids to get what he wants in the end. Yet, sadly when you enter a relationship with a narcissist this is what you in fact entering into, a relationship with just one~ in essence you are in a relationship with yourself. Hi Lisamarie I found your post to be very insightful, especially points 2 and 4.